A Biblical Framework for Life

A)

God created human beings to be in a loving relationship with Him and with each other. This relationship is the only thing that will satisfy your soul. Augustine summarized it this way: “You [God] have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.”

A)

The perfect example of a loving relationship with God is found in the life of Jesus Christ. He loved God with all His heart, mind, soul and strength, and He loved His neighbor as Himself (Matt 22:36–40). If you want to fulfill your purpose in life, you need to be like Christ. You need to be His disciple.

B)

Part of being a disciple of Jesus is learning to think about life from a godly, biblical perspective. When you were a sinner, the world revolved around you: your ambitions, your dreams, your goals, your feelings, and your desires. When you were born again, you experienced a complete change in orientation. God is now the center of your life. This means that your outlook on life is radically different than it was. You now have a new priority structure for living.

A)

The following list of priorities will help you live a God-centered life. Your decisions should be governed by this list, which is in order of importance from the greatest to the least (note that your job actually comes in last in this list):

1)

God. God is the first priority of your life. Your dreams and desires should never come before God and His plans for your life. Your decisions should be made with this consideration: Is this in harmony with God’s will and His place of supremacy in my life?

2)

Your spouse. Putting God first will enable you to be the husband/wife God wants you to be. You cannot succeed as a spouse if your relationship with God is marred by sin. The most important thing your husband/wife needs is the affection and companionship of a spouse who is totally committed to loving God with all their heart.

3)

Your children. Your children do not come before your spouse. You cannot succeed as a parent if you are not focusing on the needs of your spouse first. The most important thing a child needs is the environment of a healthy, loving husband-wife relationship in the home.

4)

Your church. The needs of your family take precedence over the needs of the church. All too often people allow their ministry to take priority over their family. Eventually the problems created by this in the home will undermine your ability to minister in the church.

5)

Your job. The Church is your spiritual family. While your job is essential in providing for your family, it should not prevent you from obeying God’s command to meet together regularly with other believers (Heb 10:25). You are an essential part of the body of Christ, and your fellow believers need you in order to be successful in their own relationship with God.

B)

Think about how this priority structure will guide your decision making:

1)

It will ensure that you find a church that is suited to the needs of your family.

2)

It will prompt you to find a job that allows you to attend church on a regular basis.

3)

It will make sure that you don’t let the time spent with your children crowd out the time you spend with your spouse.

4)

It will ensure that you don’t spend more time ministering to others than you do to your own family.

5)

It will remind you that your job should never take priority over your wife and children.

A)

Each person, with God’s guidance, must discern whether they are gifted for marriage or for singleness. God leads most of His children into marriage, but there are some individuals who are gifted to remain single. They are then able to serve God without the distractions that come from having a family (1 Cor 7:1–2, 7, 32).

B)

No matter what your current state (single or married), God wants you to bloom where you’re planted. Make it your goal to serve Christ as energetically and effectively as you can, and let God lead you in the calling He has for you. For many, if not most, that calling is eventually marriage.

C)

The time and opportunities you have when you are single should be spent preparing yourself to fulfill the God-given role you will take on in the future. I can recommend no better method of preparation than going to a Bible College. If this is not possible, then seek out church programs, etc. that will help equip you to meet the many challenges you will face.

A)

Men are leaders, both in the home and in the church. You are to set the direction for the home and act as an example of godly living for your wife and children. Your responsibility is to make the decisions that will keep your family in the path of godliness (1 Cor 11:3; Eph 5:23; 1 Tim 3:1ff; Titus 1:5–9).

B)

Men are to provide for their families. This includes their spiritual and emotional well-being, not just their physical needs (1 Tim 5:8; 1 Thess 2:9).

C)

Men are to love and care for their wives. This means keeping yourself pure in the midst of the world’s pollution and perversion (Eph 5:28–29; 1 Pet 3:7).

D)

Men are to take the initiative in raising their children to follow Christ (Eph 6:4).

A)

Women were created to be their husband’s helpers (Gen 2:18–24; 1 Cor 11:8–9). If you are wondering whether or not to pursue a particular endeavor, ask yourself this important question: Does this help my husband? Usually that one simple question will make your decision clear.^[1]

B)

Women are to obey and respect their husbands. As a wife, you must ask yourself some tough questions on a regular basis: Do I manage my time in a manner that assists my husband or serves my own agenda? Do I ask for my husband’s input before agreeing to do a particular project (Eph 5:22–23).

C)

Women are to bear children and be workers at home. While it is the man’s responsibility to be the provider of the home, it is the woman’s responsibility to be the caretaker of the home. Domesticity—devotion to the quality of home life—is an essential facet of femininity (Titus 2:3–5; 1 Tim 5:14).^[2]

1)

“Single women (especially young women), may I advise you not to wait until marriage to cultivate this? Whether you get married or not, you can express your femininity by developing a love and devotion for the home. In fact, don’t assume that if you ignore cultivating a heart for the home while you are single, you will automatically have it once you get married. I have talked to many married women who admitted they didn’t value domesticity when they got married. They didn’t like being at home; they didn’t like caring for the home. They didn’t value homemaking as a worthy profession. Why? Because they didn’t develop a vision for the importance of home-life while they were single. They filled their single years with every possible pursuit but a devotion to the home. I’m not saying other pursuits are wrong; the single years do provide opportunities for many other God-honoring pursuits. But these should be balanced with cultivating a love for the home.”^[3]

D)

Women are to focus on inward beauty and not outward appearance. While a woman does well to please her husband in her appearance, she is not to be preoccupied with physical beauty (1 Tim 2:9–10). Instead, she should work to develop inner character which God says is precious in His sight (1 Pet 3:3–6).

A)

Children are to obey their parents and submit to their authority. A child who does not learn to submit to their parents will struggle the rest of their lives to submit to God. As a parent, you do well to teach your children to obey with a good attitude.

B)

Children are to follow their parent’s guidance when it comes to friends and recreation. A child does not have the wisdom and life experience to make these decisions without the guidance of their parents (Eph 6:1–3; Col 3:20). Do not allow your children to choose their own entertainment. You should be filtering and previewing the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the books they read. Make sure your children cultivate the right relationships with their peers. These relationships will have a huge impact on your children’s character and development.