A Strain Between Two Teachings of Jesus
Dear Phil,
In 1 Timothy 5:8 Paul says that if we do not provide for our family we are worse than an infidel. Yet in Luke 14:26, Jesus says that if we do not love Him enough to leave our wife and family, etc., we cannot be His disciples. There seems to be a strain between these two teachings. Could you help me better understand this?
Jonathan
In 1 Timothy 5:8 Paul says that if we do not provide for our family we are worse than an infidel. Yet in Luke 14:26, Jesus says that if we do not love Him enough to leave our wife and family, etc., we cannot be His disciples. There seems to be a strain between these two teachings. Could you help me better understand this?
Jonathan
Dear Jonathan,
Let’s start by getting the context of 1 Timothy 5:8 in view. The topic of this section (1 Tim 5:3–16) is believing widows—specifically, how the church should honor and care for widows who are “truly widows” (1 Tim 5:3).
Timothy’s first step should be to check whether the widow has children or grandchildren (1 Tim 5:4). If she does, they must take care of her. Why? “Let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.” The principle is that children/grandchildren ought to show gratitude by making some return to their parents/grandparents (1 Tim 5:4b). So, shockingly, this passage isn’t about parents caring for children or fathers caring for their families, but about children caring for their parents or grandparents.
As a side note, 1 Timothy 5:4 in the KJV reads, “But if any widow have children or nephews….” A quick look in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) shows that “nephew” in the 1600s could mean “grandchild.” The OED offers twelve examples of this use, including “Ye had your nevewes, sonnes of your chyldren, maryed.” The Greek word Paul uses (ekgonos) means “the child of one’s child,” i.e., a grandchild. I didn’t know that “nephew” could mean grandchild until I looked it up for this article! This discovery reinforces my approach to differences between the King James Bible and modern English versions. When the KJV looks like a mistranslation, I assume the KJV word has a meaning I don’t know and look it up in the OED.
Timothy’s second step is to direct the church to take care of widows who have no family and meet the qualifications he lists. Paul directs Timothy to care only for widows who have set their hope on God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day, (1 Tim 5:5), who are above reproach (1 Tim 5:7), are 60 or older, have been faithful to their husbands, have a reputation for good works, have brought up children, have helped and served others, and have devoted themselves to every good work (1 Tim 5:9–10). That’s quite the list!
What is the nature of this care? It appears to be very basic: food, clothing, shelter (cf. 1 Tim 6:8). There’s no implication of nice food, nice clothes, nice shelter. In fact, Paul says that widows who live for pleasure (ESV: self-indulgent, NASB: wanton pleasure) are dead (spiritually) even while they live (1 Tim 5:6) and are not to be added to the church’s responsibility.
Now that we have the context clearly in view, let’s return to 1 Timothy 5:8. It reads, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” On first read, the pronouns “his” and “he” lead me to think this verse is addressing husbands and fathers. That’s certainly how I’ve heard it talked about all my life.
When I looked at the Greek text of this verse, I was surprised to find that there isn’t a single masculine pronoun in the verse. A more literal rendering would be, “But if one does not provide for one’s own relatives, and especially the members of one’s household, one has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
The pronoun “one” that Paul uses is generic. Given the context, Paul’s point is that children/grandchildren are to care for their widowed mothers or grandmothers. Now, don’t get me wrong. The fact that children “make some return” to their parents obviously implies that parents have invested in them. That’s assumed.
Regarding Luke 14:26, Jesus’ words apply only to cases where obedience and loyalty to Him conflict with loyalty to family. Normally, caring for family is one way we express our love for Jesus.
Blessings,
Phil
Let’s start by getting the context of 1 Timothy 5:8 in view. The topic of this section (1 Tim 5:3–16) is believing widows—specifically, how the church should honor and care for widows who are “truly widows” (1 Tim 5:3).
Timothy’s first step should be to check whether the widow has children or grandchildren (1 Tim 5:4). If she does, they must take care of her. Why? “Let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.” The principle is that children/grandchildren ought to show gratitude by making some return to their parents/grandparents (1 Tim 5:4b). So, shockingly, this passage isn’t about parents caring for children or fathers caring for their families, but about children caring for their parents or grandparents.
As a side note, 1 Timothy 5:4 in the KJV reads, “But if any widow have children or nephews….” A quick look in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) shows that “nephew” in the 1600s could mean “grandchild.” The OED offers twelve examples of this use, including “Ye had your nevewes, sonnes of your chyldren, maryed.” The Greek word Paul uses (ekgonos) means “the child of one’s child,” i.e., a grandchild. I didn’t know that “nephew” could mean grandchild until I looked it up for this article! This discovery reinforces my approach to differences between the King James Bible and modern English versions. When the KJV looks like a mistranslation, I assume the KJV word has a meaning I don’t know and look it up in the OED.
Timothy’s second step is to direct the church to take care of widows who have no family and meet the qualifications he lists. Paul directs Timothy to care only for widows who have set their hope on God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day, (1 Tim 5:5), who are above reproach (1 Tim 5:7), are 60 or older, have been faithful to their husbands, have a reputation for good works, have brought up children, have helped and served others, and have devoted themselves to every good work (1 Tim 5:9–10). That’s quite the list!
What is the nature of this care? It appears to be very basic: food, clothing, shelter (cf. 1 Tim 6:8). There’s no implication of nice food, nice clothes, nice shelter. In fact, Paul says that widows who live for pleasure (ESV: self-indulgent, NASB: wanton pleasure) are dead (spiritually) even while they live (1 Tim 5:6) and are not to be added to the church’s responsibility.
Now that we have the context clearly in view, let’s return to 1 Timothy 5:8. It reads, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” On first read, the pronouns “his” and “he” lead me to think this verse is addressing husbands and fathers. That’s certainly how I’ve heard it talked about all my life.
When I looked at the Greek text of this verse, I was surprised to find that there isn’t a single masculine pronoun in the verse. A more literal rendering would be, “But if one does not provide for one’s own relatives, and especially the members of one’s household, one has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
The pronoun “one” that Paul uses is generic. Given the context, Paul’s point is that children/grandchildren are to care for their widowed mothers or grandmothers. Now, don’t get me wrong. The fact that children “make some return” to their parents obviously implies that parents have invested in them. That’s assumed.
Regarding Luke 14:26, Jesus’ words apply only to cases where obedience and loyalty to Him conflict with loyalty to family. Normally, caring for family is one way we express our love for Jesus.
Blessings,
Phil